Politics 101 Malaysia

Got this through email.

The cycle goes like that:

Get Vietnamese workers, dogs missing.

Get Bangladeshi workers, Malay girls missing.

Get Indonesian workers, money missing.

Get Indian workers, jewellery missing.

Get Chinese workers, husbands missing.

Call the police, the evidence goes missing,

Call the lawyers, the judge go missing.

Call the ministry of transport, the reports go missing.

Call Putrajaya, The PM IS SNORING.

The following are entries to a contest organised by a major American newspaper in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem… except that the last parts had to be as un-romantic as the first was romantic.

a) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife; Marrying you screwed up my life.

b) I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming.

c). Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not.

d) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed. ”Continued”

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon.

“I’m sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case, you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything.” ”Continued”

More than 1500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines at practice.

Mat rempit is taking premarital course organised by neighbourhood imam.

Mat rempit: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Imam: Maximum four.

Mat rempit: My Christian neighbour has a better deal. He can marry 16.

Imam: You must be mistaken. You must be reading too many blogs.

Mat rempit: It is true. The priest always says ‘4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse’. ”Continued”

An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian are in a bar one night having a beer.

The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He brags, “In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don’t need to drink from the same one twice.”

The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says, “In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don’t need to drink out of the same glass twice either.”

The Malaysian, an ah beng, finishes his drink, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Indonesian and the Bangladeshi.

Blowing the smoking barrel, he said: “In KL we have so many Indon and Bangla that we don’t need to drink with the same ones twice.”

(*Joke from the e-mail rounds)

NEWSFLASH

In the face of rising crime rates across the nation, the PDRM are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered drinks by unknown women.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called “beer.”

The drug is found in liquid form and is legally available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large “kegs”. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of beer and then simply cox him home for no strings attached sex.

After several beers, men are known to succumb to the desire to sleep with dodgy looking women whom they would never normally be attracted to. The victims often awaken with only hazy memories of what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that “something bad” occurred. ”Continued”

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man who startled his neighbors when he hurled his computer out of the window in the middle of the night, was let off for disturbing the peace by police who sympathized with his technical frustrations.

Police in the northern city of Hanover said they would not press charges after responding to calls made by residents in an apartment block who were woken by a loud crash in the early hours of Saturday.

Officers found the street and pavement covered in electronic parts and discovered who the culprit was.

Asked what had driven him to the night-time outburst, the 51-year-old man said he had simply got annoyed with his computer.

“Who hasn’t felt like doing that?” said a police spokesman.

While escaping any official sanction the man was made to clear up the debris.